Hello! It me here to tell you it’s time to let go of the toxic ex, shitty boss, or stranger that flipped you off even though they cut YOU off on the road that one day you were already having a tough time and now you have nightmares of.

Or if you won’t listen to me, go and watch Erased. It’s only 12 episodes so you can binge it in a day, and still feel like you went on a rollercoaster of emotions.

Erased is a time travel / slice of life / romance / whodunnit mystery anime. Weird combination of genres – which is why I find it so charming. The main character, Satoru, has an ability to travel back in time to prevent tragedies, usually only a few minutes back to where the trigger point starts. However, the beginning of the anime starts with his mother being murdered, and Satoru is sent back 18 years to 5th grade to solve an unresolved murder that is supposedly related to his mother’s death.

In this day and age there are so many different kinds of time travel concepts especially now with the multiverse being so popular. Time travel taking into account the butterfly effect, where small changes over time can turn into large changes in the future, is one of my favorite concepts with time travel stories, and Erased is a great example of this. I just find it so interesting to think about the hypotheticals of like what happened if I went back to high school as I am now and knew how to not be an awkward loser. I might’ve been cool. I could’ve had the courage to talk to girls. But… I could also be homeless in present time 12 years later. How? No clue, but that’s the fun of the butterfly effect.

90% of Erased takes place while Satoru’s 28 year old mind is in his 5th grade body, surrounded by his elementary school friends. Satoru’s mission is essentially to befriend a lone girl Kayo who’s getting abused at home, and protect her from being murdered by an unknown serial killer, no matter what it takes. Throughout the show you see light hearted and comedic moments of Satoru with his friends, and it’s cute to see the bond between Kayo & Satoru grow to be a pure innocent crush… even if we as the omniscient watcher know it’s low key creepy with him being mentally 28.

At the very end of the show after Satoru successfully protects Kayo from being murdered, he ends up falling into a coma and waking back to a very different present day, 18 years later. In this time, Kayo ends up surviving, but she’s moved on and married someone else. It’s bittersweet, but realistic.

At the core of the show is a profound lesson about the transient nature of relationships. Satoru gave up everything to save Kayo, yet she moves on without him, but is still eternally grateful for what he’s done.

The Life Lesson

Some people are only meant to be a chapter of our lives, not the entire book, and vice versa as well. Sometimes we’re only meant to be a chapter of someone else’s life and there should be no reason we should feel bitter when a relationship or friendship ends.

I used to think time spent in or for a relationship or friendship was meaningless if you broke up or had a falling out. Connecting with others only mattered if they were someone you were willing to keep forever in your life. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of time. I’d put my relationships on pedestals. And I’d feel so lost when they ended, and sometimes bitter that I spent so much of my time or energy on something that was no longer part of my life.

But that’s the wrong way to think about things. Because every connection, whether it stays with you or not, is important. They become realizations, experiences, or even lessons of empathy and growth, even if they initially may start out as trauma or bitterness. Or they become great memories to think back on. People change and life happens. If everything stayed the same, there would be no concept of nostalgia. Or worse… no #throwbackthursdays.

For past relationships or friendships that ended not so great, I like to think that I was still a positive and permanent change in their life, even if we’ve split ways forever. Or if I wasn’t a positive impact… I truly hope that they’re on a better path now and can find happiness and just remember the good times.

Now I’ve been mostly talking about more painful temporary connections that we may have. That doesn’t discount the importance of seemingly meaningless day to day interactions, like ordering a coffee on a Saturday morning, having the barista comment on my One Piece sweater, finding out they’re a fan, and then nerding over the latest episode together.

And in the corporate sense, these are the best kinds of temporary connections! Low lift, low effort, and high ROI (return on investment). I love the people who pass through my life and end up permanently changing it for the better, especially when neither of us meant for it to be that way. I always talk about my life changing haircut that I had that turned into a therapy session about my bullying trauma, all with the added bonus of a scalp rub. Cheaper AND helped more than actual therapy.

So don’t discount the temporary connections, the small interactions. Back when I used to travel a lot for work, I used to love sitting in the front of my Uber/Lyft rides and just making small talk and learning something new. Unfortunately it feels like in a post-covid world social etiquette has waned, so now it’s just introverted me on my phone. One time a driver asked me about my political opinion of China & Taiwan. So I gave my honest, unoffensive (at least I thought), pretty tame thoughts, but he disagreed and then reported me on the app after the ride. I’m Taiwanese. He was not Asian at all. Oh people.

Despite the cold winters in Seattle and my introvertedness, I still do try to find the unintentional temporary connections where I can, especially when I’m alone. It’s social gacha — you never know what you’ll get — could be a compliment, anxiety, or good ol’ herpes for the single folks out there!

As Glinda & Elphaba say in the final song of Wicked, who knows if we’re changed for the better through the people that pass through our lives. Despite the bad memories, I’d still like to believe it was all for the better. And I’m okay with that. For good. Defy gravity. -Mic drop-